Wednesday, April 16, 2014

to live in this world

“To live in this world, you must be able to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go”  (Mary Oliver)
I just ran across this piece of a poem.  Or it could be the whole thing, I don't know, I haven't looked it up and explored it, at least not yet.

But it sure as h*ll brought to mind life on the farm.  If you live life at all on the farm,  even pretend with a few chickens and a few veggies, you experience this.  I believe if you live any kind of connected life at all, aligned life at all, engaged life at all, you experience this.  It is like seeing that time is an illusion in that you can see it all happens at once, no before and after, all at once.

So why do people hold things, heartache especially, close?  Suckle it?  Keep it alive and fresh?

Why do people live vicariously, through sports or schools or fandoms?

I mean, I believe it is for lack of what I call a "real life".  Which I think is life on the farm.  I'm reminded of a video we have of Scott Nearing wherein he says, "This is the good life," (the title of his books) then amends it to, "This is A good life."  That's what I'd say but so far I see few other examples.  Ok, none I can think of at the moment.

Let me tell you, when someone says, "You can't grow anything in my yard, " I say, "You mean, you don't have the skill to grow anything useful in your yard.  Lots of stuff grows there.  You are just an idiot."  And if that is harsh, well, duh.  What did you think you were going to get from me?  Coddling?  Saying that making the same choices and being sad and stressed in the same way was ok?  No.  You always knew better.  Now be honest about it and quit hiding behind the chain link fence.

When Scott says, "There's nothing I need," he means it.  Now I'll tell you, sometimes I think, boy I'd like struts on my van but you know, I'm not thinking that "counts" as a want/need.  Sure, we'll have to do it, and we'll get there, but does it have to be done exactly now?  What for?  And sometime I think, boy, I'd like to go to that Buck clinic, or that McLaury clinic, or that Peter Campbell clinic, or go be a working student for Kathleen Beckham but with those, when it really becomes important enough for me to do, I'll do it.  Neither money nor the lack of it essentially changes my life.

What really changes my life is whether the pear blossoms got frozen off last night.  What brings meaning to my life is making a good meat and three supper for my family tonight.

No comments: