burning thought

The thought that has been burnt inside my brain lately is:

Are you worth what is costs for you to live in the world?

So, are you?  Am I?  It certainly isn't a foregone conclusion.  For any of us.

And there are of course two ways to approach this if it concerns you:  one is to be worth more, and one is to cost less.  Best is both.

I think this came into my head in this way because of someone I "met".  I met him at the Buck clinic last year.  I thought he was just a young cowboy overly eager to learn since he never even let the poor horse he was working with rest ever.  I knew he was going to several Buck clinics last year but, hey, there I was at my first one and I could imagine that one might figure out how to get to several in a year as a way to really learn something.

But more recently I found out that he graduated from Harvard some unknown time ago, spent a year at Parelli campuses (not cheap either), and is again this year planning on attending at least 5 Buck clinics.  How in the world does one do that?  Well, obviously, he's wealthy to begin with.  Jet here, jet there.  Is he worth what it costs for him to live in the world? 

Yes, I have to say, I very seriously doubt it.

And then I thought of someone else I know.  She used to be a bank teller, years and years ago.  I think most recently she "retired" from being a home health nurse and works in upscale women's retail.  Husband is, I think, with the county highway department.  And they vacation two or three times a year in New York City.  How in the world does one do that?  Because I know they didn't inherit money.

What world is it that I live in?

I look hard askance at one Buck clinic.  I look harder askance as to whether I am going to do it again this year or not.  I wonder sometimes at our level of luxury.

I am floored by the entitlement that I see.  Not what you hear about on talk radio but the entitlement of the rich (which includes, in all my poverty, me).  A doctor recently talked to me about her "just deserts".  Because of school.  Because of a debt she'd long long ago paid off.  As if I didn't go to school and didn't pay off my debt.  But she said this health care reform was "all about money" although I cannot for the life of me see how exactly has it not been about money before?  As long as she could say, "You can have any treatment you like, as long as you can PAY for it," it wasn't about money.  To her. 

Are you worth what it costs for you to live in the world?

I think I'll go wash some dishes and make some bread and maybe think about making a cake, and watch the goats bounce around and think getting some hay and maybe the Parelli clinic and . . . yep, go through the mail I've put back and organize the income and outgo.