Tuesday, May 16, 2006


We have established already that I am Contrary. Some people have called me a "smart a**". I don't know. My grandfather's favorite epithet was "shit a**". But that has nothing to do with anything.

I'm basically anti-social. I'd rather go to the automatic teller than deal with the people at the bank no matter how nice they are. I get stamps out of the machine. I stay home a LOT. I prefer to. And I don't really invite lots of people over. A few people are welcome anytime, but only a few. I'm sort of the epitomy of the reclusive hillbilly.

Except I'm also very social. I am very hospitable. If you come to my house, generally you have to eat (the epitomy of hillbilly hospitality). I maintain fairly intimate friendships (a few) and a fairly wide network of less intimate intimates. The neighbors can call anytime there is a need (like the bachelor having eye surgery who needed a ride, or the older couple with the suddenly very dead very HUGE dog that needed buried). I work in the hospitality industry.

Lately has been a time of extremes. Mother's day and the day after were days of great, huge appreciation and love for people around me. My husband made me an amulet for Mother's Day, and no other gift could have brought tears to my eyes. It is so good, really attractive, and I LOVE it. But way more, I love the thought and care he put behind it, the impulse, the base of support that I get to live in every day that is him caring for me.

And my daughter, the one who had torn up the little holder of clothes pins on the line by riding her bike through it -- she sewed me a new holder of clothes pins and embroidered a horse on it too. Thoughtful, hardworking, skilled, useful. Exactly my values, even if she is a bit hard to get along with sometimes. Don't know where she gets that from.

And Monday, a l-o-n-g day at work ended with three women there, me being the baby of this group, who have all seen some real not imaginary hard times, all have some life experiences joyful and heartbreaking, all there making real efforts to do real things that really helped each other, really helped our employer, and really appreciating one another. It was just really cool.

And after that long day of work, dragging home right at dark, there was husband waiting for me, to help me carry the stuff I'd brought with me the 1/4 mile from where I park to the house. And it wasn't like he hadn't put in a full day too.

Realness is this: extending yourself way beyond comfort, with love. And in the knowledge field, if you aren't willing to share, you don't really know anything. And with skills, well, let's see what you've got there, no more talk.

oops, that was back to contrary.

If you haven't, have a look at Harold's morrels and ginseng. And I about cried reading Eleutheros' post on Corn Trials -- he's such a smithy with his words.


Jim said...


We are so much alike in some ways. I too am a sociable generous person who doesn't care much for the company of people. A friendly hermit you might say.

clairesgarden said...

in agreement there, I think I can safely say all the blogs I visit? you are all welcome anytime. I'm not great on feeding people but I can bore anybody silly about the garden and theres three photograph albums with nothing but horse pictures. . .
long may you stay'real'

the Contrary Goddess said...

I like that description Jim. Honestly my problem is I don't much like most people, and even those I do like can get on my nerves after awhile. But those I do like, I'm pretty fierce about.

diana said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mia said...

I realized a while back that I could stop being bummed about not having "friends" because I never really want to do the typical "friend" type things I thought I was missing. I'd rather stay home and work on projects in the garden, curl up and read, just enjoy the quiet. I think that people who don't like to think don't like to be alone. Really enjoying your blog!

Deb said...

Thanks for your honesty CG, I can identify with so much of this. I like realness, and I abhor people who don't live a "real" life. I have a few close friends who I may not even see for months, even the couple down the road, and we are all just, as Jim puts it, friendly hermits.

Jim said...

Yes you're contrary and sometimes a delightful smart-ass, and my Arkansas raised mother often called me a "shit-ass" too!

KarbonKountyMoos said...

Well, I can't believe it! I have always referred to myself as a "relatively friendly hermit". Looks like I'm in good company.