Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Do-over

As much as I’m this staunch “we are responsible for ourselves and our own lives” sort of person, even I need the occasional “do-over”. I had mine yesterday with laundry. What with it being winter and holidays and then us being sick the laundry was just so far behind I didn’t see how even with great drying weather that I could possibly catch it up. Plus the blankets needed doing and they are too big for our small little machine. I may one day have that Asko washer but we’ll have to actually finish the basement first . . .

Perhaps that seems a small thing, getting to start from zero, scratch, on the laundry. Some people like to start over on marriages or fake boobs or jobs/careers. “Here we are at square one again,” someone recently said to me. Nope, thought I, square one is not 50 years old drowning in debt with no real skills and no real relationships. Hey, but I’m hard on people. Also, there are some things do-overs just aren’t available for – like people who have smoked their lungs out don’t get to quit smoking at 60 and have it be as though they didn’t smoke. It is still better if they quit but there are consequences.

Still, a do-over on the laundry will be helpful to me and if that’s as much of a do-over as I need, I’m doing pretty darn well. Although I’ve got to get all the clean stuff put away today. And I’ve probably already got at least one load of dirty laundry I could do today which makes me smile. Isn’t that so much the way things are. Maybe for everyone but I know for SAHMs for sure – there’s so much stuff that you do all the time, constantly, and it is always there to do. "Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water." (Wu Li) There is no end, there is no end to ending.

Here’s the other thing about my life the past couple of days – I just enough stuff for an entire week the last two days. Monday was a homeschool meeting. Lots of fun, all day. But I had all this laundry to do so I thought, ok, I can take that in on Tuesday. But my friend Laura said Tuesday is the only day she’ll be able to take a girls day out with me so I think, ok, I can do both – do laundry, send kids and husband home with laundry while girls go out. Which we did. And it was great. Still, usually I’d only do that much off the farm in an entire week, not two days.

Laura and I went to see my friend Sally who is widow of my friend Dilly and that was the first time I’ve been to their shop since he died in August. It was sad. Dilly had a secret of the universe which is, get this folks because it is the truth – the universe is having a party and it will come to your party if you have one. The Gods do not like boring liturgies and crap – they like a party. A good party. Laughter, a good time had by all, any excuse for a party. It was always a party at Dilly’s because wherever Dilly was, he had a party. He had a good time, he had a laugh, he was in on the joke. So Dilly, I’m sorry the party isn’t going on in your shop anymore but you are welcome to come to the ongoing party here on the farm. And your name is invoked with that kitten we names for you often and we think of you and love you and still learn from you.

Then Laura and I went out to eat at an Indian restaurant. It was good. Really good. Although as always I would really like to go to their home kitchen and cook with them and eat as they eat and then bring that home. I do love peasant food and cooking from anywhere in the world. Peasant cuisine. Cheap, healthy, delicious.

Time to get on with the party!

2 comments:

laura said...

i don't know about you, but i find some stange satisfaction in seeing my name so many times here. like a little "name in lights" sort of action. wierd, but it makes me feel more real somehow, like i am really a part of someone else's life...really. i have to constantly remind myself that there actually are people out there that think about me once i am no longer in their presence. like i told nancy in that email the other day, i often assume that i am easily forgotten. i keep forgetting that i do have an impact in some way, even then i tell myself that surely it is insignificant at best. well, gee, anyway...i gotta go look at my belly button some more...

the Contrary Goddess said...

I'm really this pitiful little person with an imaginary friend named Laura . . .