satisfied mind

She said, "I don't really want to go down there and take care of the strawberries.  But there is something very satisfying about having done it."

That was a daughter before she took her boyfriend from the house down to the garden in the rain and put a net over the sour cherry tree and harvested a few strawberries that are about to flush.  This is where we are.  Cherries.  Strawberries.  Poke.  Salad.  Peas except something ate those and that always happens to something, you just don't know what it is going to be.  Trump favas.  The potatoes are about beyond hilling.  The corn is waiting for a break in the weather (actually, it isn't waiting at all, it is growing madly) for us to thin and hill it and plant in beans.  I know there are squash up too and there should be melons but I'm not sure they germinated.  And seed beds.

And death.  Our last parent died.  There is no one now between death and us, illusion tho that is, it is still true.  The last parent and do you have a relationship with your siblings or not.  For me that was a no.  For him, hopefully a different answer.

And dreams.  Such vivid dreams.  Do dead people talk in your dreams? Because they do not seem to talk in mine.

And I'd like to talk about the "something very satisfying about having done it" but in all these years I don't think I've managed it.  It's a good life.  I don't know that even the Nearings managed to really talk about it.  It may well be a way to save your life, but it is definitely a way to LIVE your life, not DIE your life, not do kindergarten to get ready for first grade and high school to get ready for college and career to get ready for retirement but a way to live, now and forever in as many different ways as there are ways and stars and bean varieties.  It isn't without stress, but it is stress you can live with -- it doesn't make you want to kill people or yourself.  Do you hear what I'm saying?  It isn't perfect because nothing is perfect.  Perfect wouldn't be perfect.  But it isn't soul sucking.

And it really helps to teach you what is really important.  And so much what is NOT important.